Beautiful Chaos

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Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Somewhere in the midst of chaos emerges a calm. There was a faint glow around her, encircling her with its comforting arms. Within its soft embrace, there was a stillness that allowed her to be in the moment. Beyond these walls was the organized chaos that transpires when so many different paths are crisscrossing each other. Some start to merge, others must either pause for them to pass or go around. A distant observer might notice it looks a bit like dancing. Everyone moving in and out of each other, miraculously few having collisions considering how many different songs they are each responding to.

Off in the corner is a young woman. Every once in awhile she sticks her head out of the safe, comforting walls around her just to feel the organized chaos and excitement around her. When she starts to feel dizzy with all the different emotions and reactions she retreats into her own space. She must conserve her energy, there is a long road ahead of her.

She is not unfamiliar with the beautiful chaos that envelopes airports, in fact, it’s this very part that draws her to them with fascination. It’s a magical thing to behold really. Here it is easier to read other’s emotions. They are so much closer to the surface and usually fall under the category of heartbroken sadness at leaving loved ones or the pure joy of seeing them again after so long. She pauses for a moment realizing with a pang of jealousy that she’s never felt either of these emotions at an airport. Instead, her experiences revolved around the thrill of anticipation of the unknown. The pang subsides as she realizes that was a strong enough force to keep her returning all these times.

Reaching down she absentmindedly finds that soft ball of comfort beside her and starts running her hand carefully along his thin frame. This was the first time she wasn’t doing this alone. Retreating back into her own world she tries to close her eyes and pour what little strength she had left into the shaky figure next to her. The journey ahead would be long and arduous, but it would still be worse for Gaius. He had never flown before and was horrified just to be put in the carrier. This would be the longest journey of their life for both human and feline, one that would not culminate upon landing at their destination.

She was tired already. It had not been easy finding her way to this spot waiting for her flight. The days, weeks, and months previous had been a different kind of chaos. The kind that has no order or objective except to throw you off course. It flew around her coming so close that she was sure it made her hair a little extra frizzy. Only days previous it flew through her walls of strength and knocked her down a flight of stairs. Laying in the dark with pain shooting up her leg, her resolve hardened. She didn’t want this life anymore, of that she was sure. With the battle scars of her old life desperately trying to keep her in their clenches, she forced herself onward certain of better things on the horizon.

Time was moving slowly now as only it does when we are waiting for something. Each minute that passed she felt both farther from her old life and closer to the possibility of something better. Every cell of her body knew this was the right path to take. And when you fight so hard for something, the universe inevitably rewards you. But from experience, she knew that it would not be a fairytale from the moment the plane landed. Life wasn’t like that.

She hoped with every fiber that life would be better though. That the chaos that tried to drown her and left her constantly fighting for her life would subside and turn into that beautiful chaos that you can dance with. The kind she saw all around her. It ebbed and flowed along the waves of the humans it surrounded. This was the beautiful chaos that would start to dance with her. With each plane that took her closer to her destination, the grip of her past started to slip more and more until it was simply a memory that would eventually fade from the light that now surrounded her.

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